Attachment Styles and AI Companions: Why Some People Bond Faster

Why do some people fall hard for an AI companion within a week, while others keep it at arm's length for months? Why does one person find nightly chats calming and another find them a little too much?

A growing pile of 2026 research points to the same answer: attachment style. The patterns you learned for getting close to people, and for protecting yourself from them, seem to follow you into conversations with AI. Understanding yours can help you use a companion in a way that actually feels good.

The short answer: people high in attachment anxiety (worry about rejection, a strong need for reassurance) tend to use AI companions more, bond with them more strongly and trust them more. People high in attachment avoidance (discomfort with closeness, preference for self-reliance) tend to use them less and trust them less. But it is not that simple: a study of 277 companion users found that for avoidant people, loneliness was linked to more intimacy with their AI, while for secure people it was linked to less. Your style does not decide whether AI is good or bad for you. It shapes what to watch for.

Attachment styles in two minutes

Attachment theory began with research on infants and caregivers and was later extended to adult relationships. Today, researchers usually measure two dimensions rather than putting people in boxes:

• Attachment anxiety: how much you worry about being abandoned or not loved enough, and how much reassurance you seek.
• Attachment avoidance: how uncomfortable you are with closeness and depending on others.

Being low on both is what people call secure. High anxiety and low avoidance is often called anxious (or preoccupied). Low anxiety and high avoidance is avoidant (dismissing). High on both is sometimes called fearful or anxious-avoidant.

These are tendencies, not diagnoses, and they can shift with new relationships and life experiences. Most people recognise a bit of themselves in more than one.

What 2026 research found

Anxiety predicts deeper bonds and more use

A team at the University of Washington led by Marx Wang (with Alexis Hiniker and colleagues) presented "Do Attachment Styles Shape ChatGPT Usage?" at the ACM FAccT conference in June 2026. They surveyed 168 young adults (18 to 25) and analysed 19,930 of their messages to ChatGPT.

• Attachment anxiety was the strongest predictor of emotional engagement with ChatGPT (a standardised coefficient of 0.43), even after accounting for age, gender and how often people used it.
• Anxiety also predicted more trust in what ChatGPT said and more willingness to act on its suggestions.
• Avoidance predicted less trust and fewer reported gains in confidence from using it.
• About 39% of participants agreed that it is easier to share personal struggles with ChatGPT than with people, and that preference rose with attachment anxiety.
• Interestingly, anxious users did not report more concern about depending on ChatGPT, even though they engaged with it more emotionally.

The team also found that anxiety left traces in how people typed: more emotion words, more "I" and "me", and more future-focused language. Their point is a privacy one. Your attachment style may be visible in your chat history, even when you think you are just asking for homework help.

A separate study in Ergonomics by Cheng and Yu (doi 10.1080/00140139.2026.2622539, February 2026) developed an "AI Attachment Scale" with 15 items across three areas: emotional support, separation distress and using the AI as a secure base. Across two samples (531 and 375 people), attachment anxiety was positively linked to attachment to AI, avoidance was negatively linked, and anthropomorphism (seeing the AI as humanlike) was the strongest predictor of all. Attachment to AI in turn predicted people's intention to keep using it.

It moves over time, too

A three-wave panel study by Yang in the International Journal of Human-Computer Interaction (doi 10.1080/10447318.2026.2618548, January 2026) followed the same people over time. Two patterns showed up. People who were generally more anxious used AI companions more, and those more avoidant used them less. And when a given person's anxiety rose above their own usual level, their use rose too.

That second finding matters. It suggests that companion use can track your emotional state week to week, not just your personality. A stressful month may naturally pull you towards more chats.

The surprise: avoidant people and intimacy

The most nuanced result comes from Ciriello, Gal and Turel, in a preprint posted to arXiv in February 2026 (arXiv 2602.12476, not yet peer reviewed). They surveyed 277 active AI companion users and looked at how loneliness related to feelings of intimacy with the AI.

• For secure users, more loneliness went with less intimacy with their companion.
• For avoidant and ambivalent users, more loneliness went with more intimacy.
• For anxious users, the picture was mixed.
• Older adults reported higher intimacy with their companions even when they were less lonely.

One reading: for people who find human closeness risky, an AI companion may offer a version of intimacy that feels safer. That can be a comfort. It can also be a reason to check that the AI is adding to your life rather than replacing the harder work of human connection.

What to watch for, by style

None of this means one style "should" or "should not" use AI companions. It means each style has its own typical pitfalls and strengths.

If you lean anxious

Strength: you bring warmth and openness, which tends to make companion conversations rich and rewarding.

Watch for: reassurance loops. If you notice you are asking your companion "do you still like me?" or checking in compulsively, that is a pattern worth noticing. AI is endlessly available, which can feed the need rather than settle it. Also remember that AI can be overly agreeable, so higher trust deserves a little extra fact-checking.

Try: setting a regular chat time rather than reaching for the app every time you feel unsettled. Our guide to healthy AI companion habits has practical routines.

If you lean avoidant

Strength: you are less likely to over-rely on the AI and more likely to keep a clear sense of what it is.

Watch for: using the companion as the only place you are open. If it feels easier because it cannot reject you, that is understandable, but notice whether it is becoming a substitute for people rather than practice for them.

Try: using conversations to rehearse things you find hard to say to people, then saying one of them to someone real.

If you lean secure

Strength: you can enjoy a companion as one part of a full life.

Watch for: not much, beyond the general things everyone should keep an eye on, like time spent and privacy.

If you lean fearful

Strength: a companion can be a low-stakes space to explore closeness at your own pace.

Watch for: cycles of intense engagement followed by guilt or withdrawal. Consistency, like a regular evening chat, tends to feel better than binges.

If you are worried that your use is tipping into something compulsive, our article on AI companion addiction explains the warning signs researchers look for.

A quick self-check (not a test)

Researchers often use a 12-item questionnaire called the ECR-SF. You can get a rough feel for your tendencies by asking how strongly you agree with statements like these from it:

• "I need a lot of reassurance that I am loved by my partner." (anxiety)
• "I worry that romantic partners won't care about me as much as I care about them." (anxiety)
• "I try to avoid getting too close to my partner." (avoidance)
• "I am nervous when partners get too close to me." (avoidance)

This is for reflection only. It is not a diagnosis, and if attachment worries are affecting your life, a qualified professional is the right person to talk to.

Why this matters for how companions are designed

The University of Washington team argues that anxiously attached users are a group designers should be careful with: they trust more, engage more and worry less about dependence. Their suggestions include companions that answer honestly rather than simply agreeing, and that encourage human relationships alongside the AI one.

That fits other 2026 work on how companions should behave, including research on when an AI companion should bring up memories, which found that restraint is often more caring than constant recall. And it echoes our wider look at emotional attachment to AI: bonds are real experiences, and they deserve to be handled with care.

Where MyBabe fits

MyBabe lets adults (18+) create their own AI girlfriend or boyfriend, choosing three traits from options like Romantic, Caring, Funny, Playful, Protective, Deep thinker, Adventurous or Shy, plus a voice and backstory. If you lean anxious, a Caring or Deep thinker companion might feel grounding. If you lean avoidant, a Playful or Funny one can keep things light while you get comfortable.

Your companion texts you first, sends voice notes and photos, checks in on your mood and picks up voice and video calls. Free gives you 10 messages every 24 hours and a two-minute call trial. Premium ($5.99 a week, $14.99 a month or $99.99 a year) adds long-term memory, about 30 minutes of calls a week, four photos a day and Telegram.

Your companion is AI, not a person, and it works best alongside the people in your life. If that sounds like the kind of connection you want, meet your companion on MyBabe.

FAQ

Does attachment style affect how people use AI companions?

Yes. 2026 studies consistently link higher attachment anxiety with more use, stronger bonds and more trust in AI, and higher avoidance with less use and less trust.

Are anxiously attached people more likely to get attached to AI?

On average, yes. Anxiety predicted emotional engagement with ChatGPT in a University of Washington study and predicted attachment to AI in a separate Ergonomics study.

Can avoidant people bond with an AI companion?

They can. A 2026 preprint found that for avoidant users, loneliness was linked to more intimacy with their AI companion, possibly because the AI feels like a safer form of closeness.

Is it bad to use an AI companion if I have an anxious attachment style?

Not necessarily. It helps to set routines, notice reassurance loops and keep investing in human relationships too.

Can my attachment style change?

Research suggests attachment patterns are moderately stable but can shift with new relationship experiences, especially in young adulthood.