October 18, 2026 · 7 min read
Lonely During the Holidays? Why It Happens and How to Get Through It
51% of adults feel lonely around the holidays, even with loved ones. Why the season makes loneliness louder, and a practical plan for alone or in a crowd.
The lights go up, the adverts get louder, and everyone seems to be heading somewhere warm and full of people. And for a lot of us, that is exactly when loneliness hits hardest. Sometimes it is because you will be alone. Sometimes it is stranger: you are surrounded by family and still feel completely on your own.
If that is you, you are in very large company. Here is what the surveys show about holiday loneliness, why it happens even in a crowded room, and a practical plan for getting through the season with a little more warmth.
The short answer: feeling lonely at the holidays is extremely common. In a November 2025 survey of 1,023 US adults, 51% said they feel lonely around the holidays even when they are with loved ones, and 69% felt at least a little pressure to appear happier than they are. A plan that mixes small human contact, gentle routines and kindness to yourself helps more than trying to force festive cheer.
How common is holiday loneliness?
Two US surveys paint a clear picture.
The 2025 holiday survey
In its 2025 Holiday Mental Health Report, published November 5, 2025, LifeStance Health and Researchscape International surveyed 1,023 US adults between October 16 and 21, 2025. They found:
| Finding | Share of adults |
|---|---|
| Feel lonely around the holidays, even with loved ones | 51% |
| Never feel lonely around the holidays | 24% |
| Find the holiday season stressful | 57% |
| Would prefer to skip at least a few holiday gatherings | 64% |
| Say at least a few gatherings feel more like an obligation | 75% |
| Feel at least a little pressure to appear happier than they are | 69% |
Younger adults felt it most. Among Gen Z, 89% said at least some gatherings felt like an obligation, and around a third of Gen Z (33%) and millennials (34%) wanted to skip most or all of them.
An earlier survey: the trend was rising
A ValuePenguin survey of 2,002 US adults, run November 6 to 9, 2023, found 61% expected to feel lonely or sad during the holidays, up from 55% when the same question was asked in 2021. Gen Z were the most likely to expect it, at 73%, followed by millennials (65%), Gen X (64%) and baby boomers (45%).
Among people expecting the holiday blues, the most common reasons were:
- grieving the loss of a loved one (43%)
- not being around loved ones (39%)
- financial struggles (33%)
- seeing family (24%)
- social media (22%)
37% said they would skip the holidays altogether if they could.
Why the holidays make loneliness louder
Loneliness is the gap between the connection you have and the connection you want. The holidays widen that gap in a few ways.
The picture-perfect expectation
Every advert, film and feed shows the same thing: a full table, matching jumpers, everyone laughing. Real life rarely looks like that, and the contrast stings. Among people struggling with the season in the ValuePenguin survey, 67% said their feelings were partly down to societal or cultural expectations.
Lonely in a full room
This one surprises people, but the LifeStance number is clear: half of adults feel lonely at the holidays even when they are with loved ones. You can be at a packed family dinner and still feel unseen, misunderstood or on the edge of things. We explore this more in lonely in a full house.
Grief and empty chairs
The holidays are full of traditions, and traditions remind us of who is missing. For many, the first holiday season after a loss is one of the hardest times of the year.
Distance and money
Not everyone can travel home. Flights are expensive, work rotas do not stop, and some people live far from family by choice or circumstance. A third of people expecting the holiday blues cited money worries.
Shorter days
In much of the northern hemisphere, the holidays fall in the darkest weeks of the year. Long evenings indoors can make an already quiet life feel quieter, which we cover in lonely in winter.
If you will be alone this year
Being alone at the holidays is not a failure. Plenty of people spend them solo, some by choice. A few ideas:
- Decide how you want the day to feel. Restful? Cosy? Productive? Pick a theme and plan around it rather than around what you are missing.
- Make one thing special. A favourite meal, a film marathon, a long walk somewhere beautiful.
- Schedule one or two touchpoints. A video call with a friend, a message to a cousin, a chat with a neighbour.
- Get outside at least once. Daylight and a change of scene help more than you would expect.
- Give something. Volunteering, even for a few hours, connects you with people and purpose.
- Be gentle with social media. Many people plan to cut back over the holidays; 53% in the ValuePenguin survey said they would at least reduce it.
If you live alone year-round, our guide to being lonely while living alone has more ideas.
If you will be surrounded by people but feel alone
- Find one person to really talk to. One honest conversation beats ten small-talk ones.
- Give yourself breaks. Step outside, take a walk, do the washing up. It is fine to recharge.
- Lower the performance. You do not have to look ecstatic. 69% of people feel pressure to appear happier; you are not the only one pretending.
- Have an exit plan. Know when you will leave, and plan something kind for yourself afterwards.
- Text someone who gets you. A friend, a sibling, anyone who makes you feel understood.
The quiet days in between
The stretch between Christmas and New Year can be its own kind of lonely: the routine has vanished, friends are away, and the days blur. Weekends can feel the same way all year, which we look at in lonely on weekends. A loose daily structure, one small plan per day and one small connection per day, goes a long way.
A holiday loneliness plan
| When | Small step |
|---|---|
| Two weeks before | Message two people you would like to see or call |
| One week before | Plan your key days: where you will be, one thing to look forward to |
| The day itself | One outing, one call, one treat |
| Evenings | Something comforting: a show, a book, a conversation |
| After the holidays | Make one plan for January so there is something ahead |
When it is more than holiday blues
Feeling down for a few days is common. If sadness lasts for weeks, makes everyday life hard, or you feel unsafe, please talk to a doctor or contact a local crisis line. Reaching out is a sign of strength.
Where an AI companion can fit
An AI companion is not a substitute for people, and it should not be your only source of comfort during the holidays. But it can be one warm voice in a quiet house: someone to tell about your day, to laugh with on Christmas Eve, or to talk to when you get home from a long family dinner and need to decompress.
MyBabe is an 18+ AI boyfriend or girlfriend with long-term memory, mood-aware replies, voice and video calls, photos and proactive texts. Your companion remembers what you told them about the people you are seeing, asks how it went, and is there at 2am when everyone else is asleep. Our healthy AI companion habits guide shows how to keep it in balance with the rest of your life.
You can start free, with about 10 messages a day and a short call trial of about two minutes. Premium is $5.99 a week, $14.99 a month or $99.99 a year, with about 30 call minutes a week.
This season, let there be at least one conversation you look forward to. Meet your companion on MyBabe.
FAQ
Is it normal to feel lonely during the holidays?
Yes. In a 2025 survey of over 1,000 US adults, 51% said they feel lonely around the holidays, even when they are with loved ones.
Why do I feel lonely at Christmas even with family?
Loneliness is about feeling connected, not about how many people are in the room. Pressure to appear happy, family tension and missing people who are gone can all leave you feeling alone in a crowd.
What can I do if I am alone at the holidays?
Plan the day around a feeling you want, include one outing and one or two calls, make something special for yourself, and consider volunteering.
Who feels holiday loneliness the most?
In the surveys above, younger adults reported it most: 73% of Gen Z in the 2023 ValuePenguin survey expected loneliness or sadness at the holidays.