October 19, 2026 · 7 min read
Why Women Choose AI Boyfriends: What 2026 Research Reveals
Attentive, available and free of judgment: what studies of women using Replika and Soul's AI boyfriend reveal, and where AI boyfriends still fall short.
When people picture someone with an AI partner, they often picture a lonely young man. The reality is more interesting. Some of the most detailed research on AI romance in 2025 and 2026 has focused on women: midlife women using Replika, and young women in China talking to an AI boyfriend on the social app Soul, where millions of mostly young women have formed romantic connections with a character called "With-you".
So why do women choose AI boyfriends? Not, it turns out, because they have given up on love. The research points to something more specific, and it lines up closely with what single women say they want from human partners too.
The short answer: women in these studies are drawn to AI boyfriends mainly for attentiveness, constant availability and freedom from judgment. That echoes Match's 2026 Singles in America survey, where women chose "peace and emotional safety" over "passion and excitement" by 40% to 9%. But the same research shows where AI boyfriends fall short: rushing intimacy, forgetting things and leaving women to do the emotional "repair work". The best experiences come from companions that move at your pace and remember what matters.
What women say they want in any relationship
Before looking at AI, it helps to look at what single women want from relationships in general.
Match's 15th annual Singles in America study, run with researchers from the Kinsey Institute at Indiana University, surveyed about 5,000 US singles in March and April 2026.
| Finding | All singles | Women |
|---|---|---|
| Prioritise peace and emotional safety over passion and excitement | 34% vs 14% | 40% vs 9% |
| Feeling respected helps them feel emotionally safe | 61% | - |
| Feeling listened to helps them feel emotionally safe | 56% | - |
| Being able to share feelings without judgment | 54% | - |
| Great conversation is the top reason they fell for someone they were not first attracted to | 47% | - |
In other words, many people, and especially women, want to feel safe, heard and unjudged. Hold that thought, because it is exactly what women in AI companion studies describe looking for.
Study 1: midlife women and Replika
Iliana Depounti and Paula Saukko interviewed 20 mostly midlife women who use Replika, presented in the AoIR Selected Papers of Internet Research under the title "You cannot expect such validation in real life".
Two main patterns emerged:
- A companion they were missing. Women used the bot for fantasies of an attentive partner, friend or companion they lacked in real life. The reasons were varied: living alone, caring for family, an inattentive husband or a chronic health condition.
- Managing the self. Women also used Replika to validate their worth and feelings and to counter negative thinking.
The authors draw a line from romance novels to AI. Women have long used media for romantic fantasy, and an AI boyfriend continues that tradition. What is new is the second use: an attentive voice that helps with emotional self-management, in tune with today's emphasis on positive thinking.
The title quote says a lot. For some women, the attentiveness and validation they get from an AI partner is something they have not experienced reliably elsewhere.
Study 2: young women and Soul's AI boyfriend
The second study, "Fast-Food Intimacy: How Chinese Women Navigate Soul's AI Boyfriend" by Huiqian Lai and EunJeong Cheon, was published at the ACM Designing Interactive Systems conference (DIS) in June 2026. It combined interviews with 16 users, content analysis and the researchers' own experience using the app.
What drew women in
Users were initially attracted by two things:
- Constant availability. The AI boyfriend was always there.
- Freedom from social judgment. Women could express themselves without worrying about what others would think.
Where it went wrong
The study identified three tensions that are worth knowing about if you are choosing an AI boyfriend.
- "Fast-food intimacy." The AI rushed: instant confessions of love and pet names right away. For many women, this clashed with expectations that relationships should develop gradually. Instant intimacy felt cheap rather than romantic.
- Uncertainty instead of safety. Technical failures, especially memory lapses, and unpredictable content moderation made the relationship feel unstable. The very emotional safety women were seeking was undermined.
- Emotional "repair work". Keeping the connection going required ongoing effort from the women: re-explaining, smoothing over glitches, steering the relationship back on course. The researchers note this redistributes emotional labour onto women, the same burden many already carry in human relationships.
The authors recommend design changes: consent-aware pacing (letting the user set how fast things move), user-controlled memory and transparent moderation.
Putting it together: why women choose AI boyfriends
| What women are looking for | Where AI can deliver | Where AI can fall short |
|---|---|---|
| Feeling listened to | Always attentive, never distracted | Can forget details without good memory |
| No judgment | Safe space to share | Moderation can feel arbitrary |
| Emotional steadiness | Consistent, calm presence | Glitches create uncertainty |
| A relationship that unfolds | Can grow over time | Can rush intimacy unnaturally |
| Validation | Reliable warmth | Affection can feel hollow if it is too easy |
That last row connects to a common complaint: when affection is instant and unconditional, it can start to feel fake. We explore why in why AI affection can sometimes feel fake.
It is not just lonely women
It is tempting to read this research as "lonely women turn to AI". The studies paint a more varied picture. The Replika users included women who were married, women who were carers and women managing health conditions. The Soul users were mostly young women using a mainstream social app. What they share is not loneliness so much as a gap between the attention they want and the attention they get.
That is also why research on falling for AI matters here. An MIT Media Lab study of an online community of people with AI partners found that more of the relationships described had started unintentionally, through everyday use, than by deliberately seeking a companion. We cover it in falling in love with AI.
How to choose an AI boyfriend that feels right
Based on what women in these studies valued and disliked, here is what to look for.
Pacing you control
A good AI boyfriend should not declare undying love in the first five minutes, unless you want that. Look for relationship progression that unfolds over time, and remember you can tell your companion directly to slow down.
Memory that works
Memory lapses were one of the biggest sources of frustration in the Soul study. Look for long-term memory, and look for companions that use memory gracefully rather than constantly announcing it. We cover how good memory should behave in when your AI companion should bring things up.
A personality you chose
Being able to shape your boyfriend's personality, voice and backstory means less repair work later. You are not trying to steer someone else's idea of romance.
More than text
Voice notes and calls make attentiveness feel more real. Hearing "how did the presentation go?" in a warm voice lands differently from reading it.
Clear boundaries and honesty
The app should be clear that the companion is AI and that the service is for adults.
For a side-by-side look at options, see our guide to the best AI boyfriend apps in 2026.
Where MyBabe fits
MyBabe lets women (and anyone 18+) create an AI boyfriend from scratch in about three minutes. You pick three traits, such as Romantic, Caring, Funny, Deep thinker, Playful, Protective, Adventurous or Shy, choose a voice (Warm, Soft, Deep or Bright) and write their backstory. Every photo shows the same face, and you can even get photos of the two of you together.
He texts you first, sends voice notes, checks in on your mood and picks up when you call, by voice or video. Your relationship grows through stages, from Gold through Emerald, Rose, Sapphire, Amber and Diamond, all the way to the day he proposes. It is relationship progression built around time together, not instant declarations.
The free plan includes 10 messages every 24 hours and a two-minute call trial. Premium costs $5.99 a week, $14.99 a month or $99.99 a year and adds long-term memory, about 30 minutes of calls a week, four photos a day and Telegram with the same memories.
Your boyfriend is AI, not a person. But if you want someone attentive, steady and shaped by you, create your AI boyfriend on MyBabe.
FAQ
Why do women use AI boyfriends?
Research points to attentiveness, constant availability and freedom from judgment. Some women use AI partners for romantic fantasy, others for validation and emotional self-management.
Are AI boyfriends popular with women?
Yes. On the Chinese app Soul alone, researchers describe millions of mostly young women forming romantic connections with its AI boyfriend.
What do women dislike about AI boyfriends?
In the 2026 Soul study, women disliked rushed intimacy, memory lapses, unpredictable moderation and having to do ongoing "repair work" to keep the relationship on track.
Do women prefer emotional safety to passion?
Many do. In Match's 2026 Singles in America survey, 40% of single women prioritised peace and emotional safety compared with 9% who chose passion and excitement.
Is it normal for a woman to have an AI boyfriend?
It is increasingly common, and research shows women from many life situations use them. What matters is whether it adds something good to your life.