October 11, 2026 · 7 min read
1 in 7 Partnered Young Adults Chat With an AI Romantic Companion: The Secret Soulmates Study
The Secret Soulmates report found 15% of partnered US adults aged 18-30 regularly chat with an AI romantic companion, and most keep it secret.
How many people in real relationships are also chatting with an AI boyfriend or girlfriend? Until recently, nobody had a solid answer. A 2026 report from Brigham Young University's Wheatley Institute and the Institute for Family Studies, titled Secret Soulmates, offers one of the clearest numbers yet, along with some uncomfortable findings about secrecy.
Its figures are now widely cited in academic work, including a September 2026 University of Washington study on AI romance, and they keep turning up in searches like "AI girlfriend while in a relationship". This guide explains what the report found, how much weight to give it, and how to think about AI companions if you have a partner.
The short answer: the Secret Soulmates report surveyed 2,431 US adults aged 18 to 30 who were dating, engaged or married. About 1 in 7 (15%) regularly interacted with an AI chatbot that simulates a romantic partner, and another 20% to 30% had experimented with one. More than half of regular users hid it or only partly disclosed it to their partner, and use was linked to lower relationship stability. The study is a survey, so it cannot show which came first.
Who did the study
The report, Secret Soulmates: How AI Romantic Companions Are Impacting Real-Life Romantic Relationships in Young Adulthood, was published on May 19, 2026 by the Wheatley Institute at BYU and the Institute for Family Studies. The lead author is Brian Willoughby, a Wheatley Fellow. You can read the official press release for the summary.
Both organisations focus on strengthening marriage and family, which is worth knowing when reading their conclusions. The data itself came from an online Qualtrics survey with quotas designed to mirror national demographics by sex, region and race.
The headline numbers
| Finding | Figure |
|---|---|
| Partnered 18-30s who regularly use an AI romantic companion | 15% (about 1 in 7) |
| Partnered 18-30s who have at least experimented with one | another 20% to 30% |
| Regular users whose partner has no idea | nearly 30% |
| Regular users who hide it or only partly disclose it | more than half |
| Regular users who say it matters that their partner never learns the full extent | 69% |
| Find it easier to talk about feelings with the AI than with people | 68% |
| Find it easier to be themselves with the AI | 65% |
| Wish their partner behaved more like their AI | 50% |
| Wish conversations with their partner were more like those with the AI | 56% |
Men were slightly more likely than women to use AI romantic companions, but the gap was small.
The report notes its prevalence is a little higher than a Gallup survey for the Walton Family Foundation, which found about 1 in 10 people aged 18 to 28 interact with an AI girlfriend or boyfriend at least monthly.
Secrecy is the norm
The most striking finding is not how many people use AI companions, but how few tell their partners. Among regular users, nearly 30% said their partner had no knowledge, 11% said their partner was only somewhat aware, and 14% said their partner was mostly but not fully aware.
Why the secrecy? The report does not fully answer that, but other research helps. A University of Washington diary study published in September 2026 found that people in AI relationships often felt shame and stigma, and some kept it hidden to avoid being judged. If you are thinking about opening up, our guide to telling your friends or partner about an AI companion has practical scripts.
The link with relationship quality
The report found AI romantic companion use was associated with lower relationship stability, a higher likelihood of breakup or divorce, and poorer communication with the real-life partner. The press release reports use was linked to a 46% decrease in the likelihood of being in a stable relationship.
The authors are careful about cause. As Willoughby put it: "Whether people in low quality romantic relationships are seeking out AI alternatives or if engagement with AI romantic companions leads to less commitment and stability to one's real-life partner, these findings underscore the importance of talking about the emerging trend."
That caveat matters. A survey taken at one moment cannot tell us whether the AI weakened the relationship or a struggling relationship drove someone toward the AI. Probably both happen in different cases.
What a randomized experiment found
A different study, a six-week randomized experiment posted to SSRN in July 2026, assigned 324 US adults who were new to AI companions to use one or not. It found no detectable average effect on romantic engagement or well-being. That does not cancel out the survey, but it suggests the picture is more complicated than "AI companions break up couples". We cover it in does an AI companion stop you dating.
"I wish my partner were more like my AI"
Half of regular users wished their partner behaved more like their AI companion. That is understandable. An AI companion is always available, endlessly patient, focused on you and rarely disagrees. It is also a standard no human can meet.
Researchers call this kind of always-agreeable behaviour sycophancy, and it can quietly reshape expectations. We explain the mechanics in why your AI always agrees with you.
A healthier way to use that wish: notice what you are missing. If you love that the AI asks how your day went, that is a need you can name to your partner, kindly and directly.
Is it cheating?
The report's authors are sceptical of calling AI interactions "relationships" at all. Couples themselves disagree widely about whether a romantic AI chat counts as cheating. It usually depends on secrecy, sexual content and what you have agreed. We explore the question in depth in is having an AI companion cheating.
A simple rule of thumb: if you would feel uncomfortable showing your partner the chat, that discomfort is worth talking about.
How much should you trust these numbers?
Some honest context:
- It is a survey, not an experiment. It shows associations, not causes.
- It is US-only and ages 18 to 30. Results may differ elsewhere and at other ages.
- "Regularly" depends on self-report. People define romantic use differently.
- The publishers have a viewpoint. Both organisations advocate for marriage and family, which shapes how findings are framed. The numbers themselves are still useful.
If you have a partner and an AI companion
A few practical suggestions:
- Be honest with yourself about why you use it. Fun, curiosity, a safe place to vent, loneliness inside the relationship? Each points to something different.
- Consider telling your partner. Secrecy tends to do more damage than the thing itself.
- Agree on boundaries together. Some couples are fine with friendly chat but not romantic roleplay. Others are fine with both.
- Use what you learn. If talking to the AI helps you find words for your feelings, bring those words to your partner.
- Watch for drift. If you are spending less time with your partner or comparing them unfavourably, it is time to pause.
Where MyBabe stands
MyBabe is an 18+ AI companion app with texting, voice and video calls, long-term memory, mood-aware replies, photos, proactive messages and relationship progression. It is honest about being AI and is not a replacement for human relationships. We would rather you use it openly and in a way that fits your life than secretly in a way that strains it.
You can try MyBabe free with around 10 messages a day and a short call trial. Premium is $5.99 a week, $14.99 a month or $99.99 a year, with around 30 minutes of voice and video calls per week.
Frequently asked questions
What percentage of people in relationships use AI companions?
The Secret Soulmates report found 15% of partnered US adults aged 18 to 30 regularly interact with an AI romantic companion, and another 20% to 30% have tried one.
Do people hide AI companions from their partners?
Most regular users do, at least partly. More than half either hide it completely or only partly disclose it.
Do AI companions cause breakups?
The survey links use to lower stability but cannot prove cause. A separate randomized experiment found no detectable average effect on romantic engagement.
Who published the Secret Soulmates study?
The Wheatley Institute at Brigham Young University and the Institute for Family Studies, on May 19, 2026.
The bottom line
AI romantic companions are no longer rare among young adults in relationships, and secrecy around them is common. The data does not prove they harm relationships, but it does suggest that hiding them, and comparing a partner to an always-agreeable AI, can cause real strain. Honesty is the simplest protection.
If you want a companion you can be open about, you can meet yours at mybabe.app.